25 Thoughts on Turning 25

So…this was meant to post last month (on my actual birthday) but apparently WordPress did not receive that memo. So instead, as a return to blogging, this will be  going live today. Enjoy.

Hi best friends! So today is my 25th birthday….it’s happening, it’s really happening.

These are 25 thoughts I have had recently about that.

  1.  Hangovers are real…and very, very painful. Not like 21 year old hangovers.Those were cake. Now I can’t move for 3 days.
  2.  Mama is not as good as she once was…and by Mama I mean my tolerance levels. (see above)
  3.  I’m pretty sure I hate everything 89.9% of the time.
  4. I’m pretty sure my metabolism is in the process of breaking up with me. Be gentle.
  5.  My pants size is having a midlife crisis. To be HS skinny or not to be…that is the real question.
  6. My body is starting to ache…from sitting in a chair on my ass all day?
  7. I worry about retirement plans.
  8. I have no idea if I have one of those. I think so?
  9. What the fuck is a 401k? Seriously I’ve googled and I have no idea but I have one by God!
  10. Should I get a savings account? Is it bad I don’t have one?
  11. Speaking of money, I paid taxes this year….all $10 of it. I’m still bitter.
  12. Am I too old to enjoy pop music anymore?
  13. Speaking of music…why must it be so loud at bars?
  14. Bars…those take me back.
  15. Youths are everywhere…and by youths I mean 21 year olds, with their crop tops and their YOLO.
  16. My best friend and I discuss things like medical issues almost daily. The New Normal?
  17. My anxiety levels have never been higher. Panic Attacks are real and they are the devil.
  18. I’ve started questioning my own mortality. (see panic attacks)
  19. I’ve cried because I’ve started to question my own mortality.
  20. Why am I still crying?…Oh look a puppy, baby, and a DILF. Greaaaatttt.
  21. I really wish my ovaries would shut up.
  22. Yes, I know you’re angry that I didn’t get pregnant again this month but can you calm the eff down, uterus?
  23. I like my job…I would like my job better with a mimosa.
  24. Is it too late to be a writer?
  25. Fuck it, I’m going back to grad school.

Bonus thought: 30 is starting to look like a real number. Good bye early 20s, I barely knew ye.


There you go. 25 jumbled thoughts on turning 25. Hope you enjoyed them. Mozal tov self, we did it!

We’re still determining what ‘it’ is but… so far so good!


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